Now that we’ve established why we have emotions and why they matter, what do we do with them? First, I want to distinguish between comfortable and uncomfortable emotions. Comfortable emotions include feelings such as happiness, joy, hope, awe, gratitude, and excitement. Uncomfortable emotions are feelings like sadness, fear, anger, guilt, disgust, and shame. Comfortable doesn’t equal good and uncomfortable doesn’t equal bad. Emotions are neither good nor bad, although they can be
used for good or bad, emotions themselves are neutral.
The ultimate goal is to feel our emotions or to feel our feelings, and express them in a healthy way. Generally speaking, comfortable emotions tend to be easier to feel and experience while uncomfortable emotions are, well, uncomfortable. Uncomfortable emotions can often be intense or painful for most to sit with. This is why many people try to avoid or numb away uncomfortable emotions. However, when we avoid or numb, it keeps the uncomfortable emotions trapped within us and prolongs them. Feeling and expressing them allows them to move through us.
When uncomfortable emotions are persistent for a long term it can lead to mood disorders like depression or anxiety. There are many reasons and causes for depression and anxiety, but one reason is not feeling and expressing our emotions healthily. Both depression and anxiety can be a result of trapped emotions overwhelming our central nervous system (CNS). When our CNS is overwhelmed we either shut down and become depressed, or we become wired and anxious, unable to relax.
Aside from being painful and uncomfortable, feeling our emotions can be difficult because most of us aren’t used to it and weren’t taught to. But like a muscle, it needs to be trained in order to grow. Just as we can’t go from sitting to running a marathon without training, when training, we have to start in small doses and slowly build up our tolerance. Training can look like reflecting, journaling, practicing mindfulness, and talking with a trusted friend or therapist.
Perhaps what makes feeling our emotions less daunting is having someone beside us. I believe this is why God often reiterates his promise to be with us and to never leave. He is near to those who are heartbroken and crushed in spirit. He is with those who feel afraid and overwhelmed. His presence helps us to endure and his grace enables us to feel our negative emotions.
