A Love Your Story Blog Post

The phrase “Do not be afraid” can be found all throughout the Bible. It can be confusing when we come across the phrase, because try as we may being afraid is something we all feel… often.

What comes to mind when you read verses like this? Do you read these words as a command to follow or maybe a calling to achieve? Do you ever feel shame for the fear that you carry? Sometimes fear isn’t so easy to cast aside.

When my daughter was three years old, she was convinced Jafar lived in her bedroom curtains. For those of you who were not raised on Disney fairytales, Jafar is the bad guy in the story of Aladdin and he wore a long, flowy robe. When my daughter looked at her curtains swaying, there was nothing that could convince her that Jafar wasn’t right there at that moment (my kiddos have big imaginations). 

All of you who are parents out there know exactly what I’m talking about. When our kids are scared, logic and commands are not going to get through to them. Think about a three year old in your life. Would you be angry that they are afraid and demand them to stop? I hope not. Most of us would want to wrap our arms around them and comfort them. We might even use the same words, “Don’t be afraid”, but we would add all the love, cuddles, and “I’m right here, you’re safe” support to help them get through that hard moment. 

As my kids grew, the things they were afraid of grew with them. My now 13 year old daughter is no longer afraid of Jafar, but she can be afraid of rejection. My words and comfort to her remain the same, “I’m here no matter what, you’re safe, how can I help?” 

Feeling safe soothes our fears. When our kids know we are there with them, they feel brave enough to check behind the curtains. When we feel the loving presence of God with us, we feel brave enough to do the thing we are afraid of too. 

We don’t “put up” with our kids’ emotions. We engage with them. We use feelings as a chance to step into relationship with them. Our goal is to comfort them, support them, and increase the safety they feel in expressing their needs to us.

There are scary things in life that our kids will face, and scary things that we will face too. As I read about Jesus and study the way he responds to fear and pain, I am convinced that the heart of compassion we have for our kids is the same compassion our Loving Father has for us. We can’t out-parent God. The religious world around us might tell us that if we had more faith we wouldn’t feel fear, but time and again Jesus taught us that He came to restore our relationship with God not to take away our humanity. Perhaps we are missing the invitation to step into our relationship with Him and find safety in the words God speaks over our fearful hearts. 

You see, fear is not the opposite of faith. Certainty is the opposite of faith. Knowing is the opposite of faith. Doing things on our own without seeing our need for our relationship with our Father is the opposite of faith. We can be filled with faith and still have the very real human emotion of fear. God loves us for the humans we are. Embracing our humanity and running to our Father for safety and support through our hard human moments is an act of faith. 

Maybe when we read verses like, “Fear not for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10), we can train our ears to hear our Father’s heart: “Don’t be afraid, my son. No need to worry, my daughter. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Are you missing out on the comfort you can find in the arms of our Savior, because you are too busy trying to be strong on your own and follow Him in your own strength? How do you handle intense emotions when they come your way? 

Whether they are your intense emotions or someone else’s intense emotions, often we minimize this important work in the Christian life. We try to “outthink” our feelings rather than engage with them, learn from them, or even talk with God about them. The Bible says to, “Guard your heart above all else, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23 ESV). What if we trusted our Father in heaven, even more than our kiddos trust us, by giving him the things that we feel in our hearts and turning to Him as the Meeter of our Needs? What if we responded to our fear by running to Him rather than trying to fix it all ourselves?

The heart is central to the teaching of Christ. When we engage the heart and bring this work into our discipleship processes, we are able to help people change, find healing, and receive hope for their whole person. Think of the impact this would have in our families and communities! 

The great news is, Christian Therapists are equipped to understand the inner workings of the human being. We are trained to see how the spiritual, relational, intellectual, emotional, and physical ways we are formed in our lives link together to form who we are today. We guide people through the work of engaging and understanding your emotions, so you can learn how to enter into your relationship with God in a much more vulnerable and authentic way. We believe you can heal, grow, and find the freedom you can have when your deepest fears are soothed in the loving arms of our Savior. 

How do we know how to respond when we have big feelings? Schedule a free 15 Minute Consultation with one of our qualified therapists today, and check out @loveyourstorytherapy on Instagram for videos on the holy role that God intended our feelings to play in our lives.